Learning to Fly
by Lady Asher
Summary: They say it never helps to run away from your problems, but life hadn't exactly given him a choice. Though admittedly, Harry hadn't really planned on starting his fifth year by fleeing the country... AU OotP.
1. Breaking Point

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, settings, plot elements and other literary devices are property of JK Rowling and various assorted publishing companies, none of which I am even remotely affiliated with. The letter at the beginning of the chapter is quoted from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Chapter 1:_ Dudley Demented_, and I hold no claim on that, either. However, all of my writing is my own.

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Part One: **_**Fledgling**_

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Chapter 1: Breaking Point**

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_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_We have received intelligence that you performed the Patronus Charm at twenty-three minutes past nine this evening in a Muggle-inhabited area and in the presence of a Muggle._

_The severity of this breach of the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery has resulted in your expulsion from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Ministry representatives will be calling at your place of residence shortly to destroy your wand._

_As you have already received an official warning for a previous offence under section 13 of the International Confederation of Wizards' Statute of Secrecy, we regret to inform you that your presence is required at a disciplinary hearing at the Ministry of Magic at 9 A.M. on August 12th._

_Hoping you are well,  
Yours sincerely,_

Mafalda Hopkirk_  
Improper Use of Magic Office  
Ministry of Magic

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Standing in the kitchen at Number 4 Privet Drive, Harry Potter stared numbly down at the letter in his hands, only dimly registering that said appendages were shaking. His brain seemed to have been disconnected; only random words registered through the haze that had descended upon him. _Breach of decree… underage … expulsion… disciplinary hearing… destroy wand… _expulsion…

**Shortly**_._ _**Ministry representatives will be calling shortly to destroy your wand.**_

That snapped him out of the descending spiral of his thoughts. Harry looked up as he realized dimly that the Dursleys had stopped their shouting in the background to stare at him fearfully. Then he noticed the dishes rattling on the shelves, and quickly clamped down on his impending panic attack. If the Ministry was willing to condemn him for using his Patronus to save his own _life,_ who knew what they would do if he added accidental magic to the mix...

Harry's thoughts flew. He would have to run; Hogwarts or no, he needed his wand. _Hogwarts… I might never see Hogwarts again… No. Focus, Potter. Focus. _Harry painfully buried the acute despair that came from the thought of never returning to the school that he had always seen as his true home. He couldn't afford to waste any time; the Ministry could be here any minute now.

He drew his wand and started for the stairs, mentally cataloguing what he would need to take and what he couldn't immediately throw in his trunk. Harry took the steps two at a time to his room, already planning. He would need to make his way to Gringotts eventually; he had almost no money...

But how would he get off Privet Drive? Number Four had no Floo connection; he couldn't Apparate or make a Portkey, and judging by the way his first trip on the Knight Bus in third year had turned out, _that_ route was certainly out as well.

Harry came to as he realized he was simply haphazardly throwing his schoolbooks into his trunk, with no kind of plan whatsoever and no idea how to get out of the house that was beginning to look more and more like a trap. He had just begun to truly panic when a large hand closed about his throat from behind.

Harry choked and clawed blindly at Uncle Vernon's fist for the second time that day as his uncle dragged him away from his trunk and shoved his back against the wall. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON?" his uncle shouted, his face purple and spittle flying from his lips. The vein in Vernon's temple seemed in grave danger of exploding as he spluttered. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SON?"

Coupled with dementors, emotional highs, unpredictable magic, and the looming threat of the law, Vernon's outburst was just enough to push Harry over the edge. Considering all he had gone through that night, it was no surprise to anyone but the Dursleys when Harry drew his fist back and punched his uncle in the face as hard as he possibly could.

Uncle Vernon released him more from shock than anything else. He stared down at Harry as the teen gasped for breath and glared up at his uncle. "I've just driven off two dementors and gotten expelled from Hogwarts, and you ask ME what the hell is going on? You want to know what I did? _Nothing_. I did nothing to your bullying pig of a son except save his miserable life!"

Harry heard a gasp from the doorway and realized Aunt Petunia was standing outside the door. "D-Dudley… you… th-those... awful creatures… _here_?" she stammered. Then her hands went to her mouth and her eyes widened in her horsy face. "Oh no… he isn't…"

Harry stared blankly at her in disbelief for a moment, his mouth working, then shoved his uncle roughly out into the hallway – no small feat, with the man's weight – and said, quite calmly, "He's fine. And now _you_ can explain to this tub of lard exactly how your son nearly lost his _soul._"

Harry slammed the door in both of their astonished faces before they could protest and pushed his own shock to the back of his mind. He would find out just how on earth his magic-hating aunt knew about dementors some other time, when he wasn't about to be on the run from the law.

His thoughts flew as he threw things into his trunk. He could go to the Burrow – _No, you don't know how to get there, and you're not stupid enough to try to take the Knight Bus again…_ He could find Ron and Hermione – _They're probably__** at**__ the Burrow, you idiot…_ He could go to Sirius, his godfather would surely understand – _WHERE? Face it, freak, you've got nowhere to go!_

Harry sank down onto his bed, a pair of shoes dangling from one hand. Who was he kidding? He might as well just stay here and let the Ministry show up, let Dumbledore sort it out later… He could always get a new wand…

He shook his head rapidly, wondering where on earth that last thought had come from. Of course he couldn't just get a new wand, hadn't he proved that in the graveyard with - No, he couldn't afford to think about that, he had to move, now, get out of here. If Death Eaters—hell, if _anyone_ showed up, he couldn't be left defenseless. He could worry later he always seemed doomed to fail, how everything always seemed against him… _Why does Fate seem to hate me so much, anyway? Fate and everybody else…_

Blank eyes stared up at him from a face gone pale with shock and fear, stilled now in death – _No. Stop it. Not today… please, not right now._ Harry shook his head again, trying to clear it. How long had he been sitting there, sunk in memories and gloom? Surely not too long… He had to get moving. The ministry would surely be here soon.

With that thought prodding him into action, Harry stood up, threw the shoes in his trunk, and looked around his room. Almost everything was in his trunk, save a few of the most horrible of Dudley's castoffs, so Harry strode over to the window and unlatched Hedwig's cage. The owl hooted at him, apparently disturbed by the shouting that had slowly begun to fade from outside his door. He murmured to her softly, apologizing as he carried her to the window.

"Come find me in a few days, Hedwig. Go to the Burrow until then – Ron will feed you for me." She looked at him reproachfully. "Look, girl, I'm sorry. But I don't think you'll enjoy where I'm going." Harry sighed. "If I can figure that out…" Hedwig hooted again, this time sounding rather reassuring for an owl, and took off silently into the night, heading north.

Harry watched her white form disappear above the streetlights, then spun, slammed his trunk closed, and dragged it to his door. Bumping down the stairs, he heard the dulcet tones of his uncle in the kitchen. Vernon spotted him as he dragged his trunk past the door. "Boy! Come here this instant and tell me-" Harry hadn't even paused. "BOY!"

Vernon made a grab for him with both hands that the teen easily evaded. "WHAT –" Harry lowered his voice a little when he saw Dudley and Petunia cowering away from the kitchen doorway, Petunia white-faced and Dudley still looking decidedly green. "What do you want?" Harry demanded. "In case you may have noticed, I'm in a bit of a hurry…"

"That's exactly what I'm talking about!" his uncle blustered. "What is the meaning of this? Where do you think you're going—?"

Harry had turned around and continued dragging his trunk to the door. "Away. Where do you think I'm going?"

Vernon sputtered for a moment. "But – no! You're not going anywhere! You have to stay here! What if those – those _dememter_ things come back?"

"It's _dementor_," said Harry roughly, "and I'm leaving because I've been expelled from Hogwarts, and if I let them snap my wand I'll probably end up dead within the week."

Vernon gaped at him, apparently disarmed by this unusual clarity of information. Or possibly Harry's casual assessment of his own mortality. "But – but why? Pet said those dem—those _things_ would've killed… You didn't do anything!"

It was decidedly odd to have his uncle taking his side for once, Harry observed in some far-off corner of his brain. "I cast the Patronus charm in front of a Muggle. That's enough for the Ministry; they hate me right now. Look, if anybody shows up, you can just say that you kicked me out and you don't know where I am. It will be true enough; you've threatened to do just that for quite a while now, and I'll be out of your lives, at least for a bit—"

By now they were standing by the front door, Harry having continued to drag his trunk and his uncle following behind him listening to his short explanation. "But where will you go? What about Dudley? And what if those dementoid -"

"Demen_tor_," said Harry in exasperation. "And they won't come back; it was me they were after. You don't have anything to worry about, but I need to _go_, the Aurors could be here any minute now -"

And as if just waiting for him to have said the words, there came a knock on the Dursleys' front door.

Harry froze. _No, no, it's too soon, they couldn't possibly be here already_… There was a kind of sick disbelief in him and time seemed to slow as he turned to open the door. Just as his hand neared the doorknob, it glowed red and the lock clicked. The door swung slowly open to reveal two men in sharp black suits. Harry would have mistaken them for businessmen if one had not had on a large yellow sunhat, and the other red rubber rain boots poking out from beneath his sharply-pressed trousers.

One of the wizards smiled at him genially, but the other man's blue eyes were ice as he spoke. "Mr. Potter. So nice to see you tonight; I only regret that we come on such unfortunate business."

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_In honor of my friend's coming of age in the wizarding world, I dedicate this first chapter to her! Happy birthday - you know who you are _=)


	2. Snap

_Disclaimer: I solemnly swear I don't own Harry Potter. _

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Chapter 2: Snap**

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_One of the wizards smiled at him genially, but the other man's eyes were ice as he spoke. "Hello, Mr. Potter. So nice to see you tonight. I only regret that we come on such unfortunate business." _

Uncle Vernon spoke up from behind where Harry's frozen form was blocking the doorway. "Who the ruddy hell are you?"

The words broke Harry's paralysis and his mind raced as he stepped back from the doorway. The Auror with the boots, the one who had first spoken, pushed his way through the door, his sharp eyes scanning the room as he talked.

"We belong to the British Ministry of Magic. You are Mr. Potter's uncle?" He turned abruptly to Vernon.

"I—well, yes—that is, I—"

The man cut him off. "And you are aware of the charges that have been leveled against him?"

Vernon stuttered some more, obviously extremely unsettled by these people that had so brazenly invaded his once so desperately normal home. "Well, yes, I think—"

"Good. That makes our job here much easier. Mr. Potter," the man barked, seeing Harry edging toward his trunk. "Please remain where you are. You are not in the best of situations right now."

_No, really_, said the back of Harry's mind irreverently as he stilled but continued to inch his hand inconspicuously toward his wand. _And here I was, having the time of my life…_

The Aurors began stalking around the Dursleys' living room, looking quite out of place as they "explained" their version of events to Harry's aunt and uncle. The Dursleys, despite having heard Harry's story, seemed to be listening to them and beginning to revert back to their more familiar _modus operandi_: hate the freak.

"Poor boy of yours…. probably fainted from the shock of the charm… Lucky no one else saw… been a bad influence for a long time… No surprise, probably trying to scare the poor dear…" Harry only caught a few phrases as he tried to think of how on earth he was going to get out of trouble _this_ time.

The Auror who seemed to be in charge turned to Harry just as he was able to slip his wand carefully up his sleeve. In contrast to the obsequious tone he had adopted with the Dursleys, the wizard's voice was as icy as his eyes. "Mr. Potter. I believe you know why we are here." It took almost everything Harry had to stand strong against that implacable gaze. Those eyes… where had he seen those eyes before…

"Yes. Sir." he added for good measure. "I performed the Patronus charm to drive off a couple of dementors that attacked me and my cousin."

Those blue eyes assessed him, flicking once to where his trunk rested by the wall of the foyer. "And after that?"

Harry gulped. "I dragged Dudley back here… he couldn't really stand on his own. And then I got the letter…" There he stopped. He couldn't tell them he was going to run—

He didn't have to. "So you then decided that rather than being a responsible citizen and remaining where you should, you would attempt to… run off somewhere. Is that it, Mr. Potter?" The Auror's eyes dared him to lie. Harry gulped again.

"I—I—Look, sir, you've got to understand, there really were dementors; I have to keep my wand, I have to stay at Hogwarts, Lord Voldemort—" Harry faintly registered that the other Auror had squeaked and jumped, but the cold man's eyes were dissecting him again, and he fell silent.

"So you maintain your lies even in the face of reality, hmm? Interesting…" The man's tone turned businesslike abruptly. "There is no possible way that dementors could have been on your street tonight, Mr. Potter, they are all currently employed at Azkaban under Ministry control. Due to your misdemeanor despite prior warnings –"

"But the dementors aren't all under Ministry control!" Harry could keep quiet no longer. "Look, Voldemort is _back_, the dementors would just as soon be his as exist, and he wants me dead-"

"MISTER POTTER!" The man's red rain boots looked even more incongruous against the face of rage that he suddenly bore. "The Dark Lord is dead, no thanks to your apparent attempts to resurrect him with your wild stories! There were no dementors in Little Whinging tonight! _You will be silent!_" This last was added as Harry opened his mouth again.

The man appeared to forcibly calm himself. "Now. Mr. Potter, let me make myself clear: you have been permanently expelled from Hogwarts. You are thus no longer in need of a wand, and indeed, have no legal right to possess one. Why don't you just make our job easier so we can leave you and your charming family in peace?" His voice was heavy with subtle sarcasm as he flicked a glance toward the clueless Dursleys.

Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. Had this Auror, a member of the highest law enforcement agency in the country, just – admittedly, subtly – _threatened_ him? And _why? _

"I—" He did not know what to say. He could not legally stand up to these people, but he _needed_ his wand… At that thought, the word came blurting out without even thinking.

"No."

The other Auror, the man in the yellow sunhat, spoke directly to Harry for the first time that evening. "What do you mean, _'No?'_" His voice was disbelieving. "You can't just refuse to cooperate with the law—"

Harry knew he was grasping at straws here. "I won't give up my wand." _It would be as good as committing suicide at this point, anyway…_ He could not think, why could he not think, he _had_ to—

"Curse it, we don't have time for this." The ice-eyed Auror's suddenly exasperated voice cut through Harry's rising panic.

The man's partner turned to him in confusion. "Time? What are you talking about? All we need to do is get the wand off the boy and—"

The Auror's voice was cut off as his partner stunned him. Harry's shocked mind noticed how his hat had fallen off as the other man's cool voice came as if from far away. "Allow me to rephrase that. _**I**_don't have time for this."

Harry snapped out of his shock as the man turned to him. "Come, Mr. Potter. We can make this easy or we can make this hard. Just hand over your wand so you – so it can be taken care of. It will be quick… It might even be painless… I would not know…"

The words sounded eerily familiar, somehow… Abruptly Harry knew where he had seen those eyes before. He was momentarily drenched in memory, memory of fear and cold and darkness; _"You… you have been loyal,"_ and triumphant icy-blue eyes flashed under a dark hood as evil passed him by to chastise his fellows, taunting a boy tied to a gravestone… _the Dark Lord… only his followers call him the Dark Lord…_

Harry's wand was up in the guard position before he could think. "One of you," he breathed.

The man's eyes widened a bit, and then he chuckled. "He's a smart one, then. Yes, Mr. Potter." His smile was evil. "One of us." The Death Eater's wand had fixed on his forehead before Harry could even think to react, and by then it was too late. "_Famulatus expletus."_

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_He was free.

It felt almost alien for a moment, to one so used to a world full of promise and pain… But that was not him. That was the other, and the other was not he. Here he was nothing, he was no one; he never had to be anything but what he was told to be...

_There is no pain here. At last, there is no pain. No pain, nothing, no need of me… _Free of burdens, free of any emotion except bliss, he floated in a softly rocking ocean of nothingness, not thinking, unable to feel—

The whisper came from the darkness around him. _**Come, Potter… drop your wand…it will be easy… just give it to me… **_

_Now there is need. _The ocean brightened a bit, and thought came through in more than dreams. _I am here. This is me. And I must do as my master commands me. _He felt his hand come up. He wanted to do what that voice told him… wanted it more than anything in the world. _**Just give me your wand…Go on…give it to me, now…**_

_Yes. The master is good. Give it to the master. _Something in the back of the mind almost protested, but he pushed it down; this was what he was made to do, whatever his master told him he would do… he _wanted_ to do this, would do it if it was the last thing he did…

The whisper continued, _**Good… good… now just let go… let it go… **_

Then another whisper came, this one not from all around him, but from within, a scrap of memory akin to another that had taken hold of him earlier – _Hold on, Harry…don't let go…_

She saved him yet again as he slowly struggled against the dreamlike quality that had taken hold of his mind. _Don't let go…don't let go…_

The echoes of his mother's voice faded as, deep inside, something snapped.

Light and feeling and identity rushed back in a blow so sudden it brought pain and Harry opened his eyes. He was holding his wand out to the disguised Death Eater, and the man was reaching toward it… He had repeated Voldemort's words from the graveyard; if Harry gave his wand to this man, he would surely die…

The false Auror's eyes tightened with strain and Harry felt a fleeting moment of triumph before the bonds holding his body tightened more than ever. The voice from the hardening darkness was louder now, more insistent, as if it knew its subject was no longer quiescent and willing. _**Almost there… just let go of your wand…you do not need it, you will not even notice it has gone…you **_**will**_** obey… listen to your master… **_**let it go**_**… **_

His thoughts were slowly consumed with horror and denial. _No! I am not a slave!_ But that was what, for a moment, he had been.

Harry couldn't move. He knew, he _knew_ that he was under a powerful obedience spell but it wasn't like the Imperius curse, this was one that he could notbreak. He _knew_ that he was about to give his wand to a man he was positive was a Death Eater, but he would not, _could not_ jerk away…

He saw his hand moving as if from a different body, a body that wasn't beginning to burn from the dread and fierce denial that consumed his entire being - he would not, he must not, no, _no, NO…_

Wild with panic and pain, Harry's eyes flicked up to those icy ones, saw in them smug and certain triumph, and the last barrier within him burst. The word exploded out of him, irrepressible, uncontainable –

"_**NO!" **_

The vise of pressure on his mind fell away as those icy eyes widened momentarily, triumph turning to shock. Harry could feel the wave of force bleeding him dry as the man was blown back and he fell to his knees with the shock of the release; everything was blasted away from him, including rational thought, and his last vague idea was of protecting the Dursleys as, hand still clenched on his wand, he felt himself falling, falling with no thought to any kind of ground -

Then only darkness.

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_As things begin to heat up, I'll now interrupt you with an important message. Updates to this story will hopefully be fairly regular, about once a month or so, since as you can see I write fairly long chapters that take a while to create and edit. I also don't post unless I'm at least two chapters ahead, so if I don't update for a while, that's why. That being said, thanks so much to those who have put this story on their alerts or their favorites list, but please, show your appreciation and _**REVIEW!** _I can update so much faster if I get feedback, and it really helps my motivation knowing that people actually care about what I'm writing. Thanks as ever to Kali Rose and Hero Memory for beta editing, and Kali for my sole review!_

_**Please review! **  
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